Read: Hoy Spectra part I

HOY SPECTRA

Have we killed it?
Yes
'Kingrate!
Do the danz do the Bidder Danz er,er,dancing and Mushi Coffi.
Where's the Crack?
Schnort the Coke mountain. Hey kiddies do you want to see some sweeties?
‘Shut it knob neck.’....
"Its Ma Legs, they’re too short!"
"Come" Groaned Hutch. "Settle down and toss."
"What did I say Starbar? What have I told you? What are you doing inside my Y’s?"

1¾__H_«________?)__O_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_______________________S_P E K__________T____ R__A__

Starsky looked annoyed and asked, "Why do I have a perm?"
"Help. I'm a disembodied floating head . Blib!"
"Sir, we have food and supplies (Supplies! Supplies!) for fourteen days is that enough?"
"Yes for me only so dry up and blow away you sap."
1¾___«________?)__U_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y__________________________________________
John Noakes founded the American Nayvee in the Big Yellow Piss Pot so shape up and die muthafukka, sit back and relapse, Hmmmm?
Yes my audience, mine is this big....probably.
HOY SPECTRA

Have we killed it?
Yes
'Kingrate!
Do the danz do the Bidder Danz er,er,dancing and Mushi Coffi.
Where's the Crack?
Schnort the Coke mountain. Hey kiddies do you want to see some sweeties?
‘Shut it knob neck.’....
"Its Ma Legs, they’re too short!"
"Come" Groaned Hutch. "Settle down and toss."
"What did I say Starbar? What have I told you? What are you doing inside my Y’s?"

1¾__H_«________?)__O_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y_______________________S_P E K__________T____ R__A__

Starsky looked annoyed and asked, "Why do I have a perm?"
"Help. I'm a disembodied floating head . Blib!"
"Sir, we have food and supplies (Supplies! Supplies!) for fourteen days is that enough?"
"Yes for me only so dry up and blow away you sap."
1¾___«________?)__U_Y_Y_Y_Y_Y__________________________________________
John Noakes founded the American Nayvee in the Big Yellow Piss Pot so shape up and die muthafukka, sit back and relapse, Hmmmm?
Yes my audience, mine is this big....probably

Jimmy Krankie you’re a fucken bird man! Hey Pogo Patterson did anyone ever tell you you’re a fat waster?
“I know, I weigh 18 stone!” (later) “Groog, I’m such a fat waster!”
Dear Pogo...
You ARE a fat waster
Love Mum.
P.S. Ha Ha.
The early morning glow of the sunrise was illuminating certain parts of the curtains and I laid there for awhile making strange shapes and faces from the patterns.
Soon sleep drifted back to me and I had the strange feeling I was floating. Looking around I could see two people either side of me helping me along. It was Gonch and Zammo and Ziggy and, oh no! they thought I was a tailor's dummy they had found on the tip and they were going to leave me in the road to get hit by Mrs. McCluskies new car! – “Don’t leave me Gonch!” I tried to shout. “Come back Zammo! I know you’ve ‘just got a cold’ I’ll help you get ‘some stuff’. Just say no Zammo. Just say noooo....”


Jizz Wheels.



Cowry Anglais burrowing from the Langoustine goldmine, ending affections from the distance of a highway, clogged up with love, ready for the motorcade, slowed to the meanest hum with tantric suicides.

Kidleys! Can you run like Drago?
I remember the day Tommy Dobson rode up to us on his cyclybike. It was rusted to fuck, green paint flaking, metal exposed on the twisted off-white front basket. The wheels where tiny with bulbous fat white tires.
“Do you like my new B.M.X.?” He asked as he circled around us. “Martin does your Mum still work in that sex shop?”
In school assembly Tommy would lean over and whisper “I dare you to stand up and shout 'Barabbas' or you'll get battered at playtime.”
Tommy: My name is Martin, what is yours?
Martin: Martin.
Tommy punches Martin in the ribs.
Tommy: My names Martin what's yours?
Martin: Martin!
Tommy again punches Martin.
Tommy: My name is Martin what is
yours?
Martin: Martin!
Punch
Tommy: My name is Martin what's yours?
Martin: Tommy?
Tommy leaves
“What’s on the menu for dinner today Tommy?”
Tommy: Matches, we’re having Mat-chez for dinner today.
“Shepherd’s pie? Hmm that is nice.”
Tommy: (sat at the front in Maths): “King Canute! King Canute am I!


Tommy runs up to us in the corridor and punches us in the side “Kidleys! Can you run like Drago?”
The metal work teacher hits his hand with a hammer and mutters something under his breath.
“Aww Sir! We’re gonna tell, you said 'Fuck'.”
-“Nor lads nor I saids 'flippin'!”
“No sir no you said 'Fuck' and we’re gonna tell we’re gonna tell everyone that you said 'fuck'!”
-“I seds 'Flippin'!!”
Then BIGKIDS come in to skav fags and sharpen knives and lock him in the stockroom and tell us to fuck off to the next lesson so they can fuck about with the furnace and the lathes.

.........................................................


1. Who arrived on dykes for their first day at Grange Hill?
(Pogo arrived on a fork lift Ha Ha)
2. How did Pogo and Duane make themselves money in a clever way?
Was it by A: WASHING CARS?
OrB: SELLING CAKES ?
OrC: RENTING?
3. Tam Black and Booga Benson had a Fight! Fight! Fight! What happened to Fucker and Beeny after they broke into the factory? They where caned in the face! Who broke into the school and set fire to it? The whole cast. Because? Because because because because, because of the wonderful things he does.
Go on, leave you saps.
Pogo was found quietly feeding his fat face. "Fud off Tucksta or I’ll punch ya legs in." A buckaroo Bam Bam Bazookafest get sawn in half and miss all your go’s. C'mon dance you sukka, oh the richer smoother taste. Oooog my sex asylum escape plan backfired. Alight tables, follow the grey purse, exact in its reception but always willing to comply, bibba bibba grint, the steam driven adventures of Riverboat Bill. Bod says "wow, I Dob, do the beebop apocrypha." Johnquill seeks out plenty agro, blade aloft, by a reliable source my name is Loodercroot. Johnquill ‘Neeeearghhh those hideous chimps feet hands. I must cease!’ Twitch, jerk. Ho ho Zerodernyker takes another victim, abducted into a house on the sun. Aargh the cheese was too tuff. Loodercroot couldnea take it; Johnquill slips on nanaskin.
Ok punky grocer giz carrots, no eat cheese, ok ok kill me I can take it, oh yoy of yoys, I like pies, I like sossies, let me write and draw oh crazy ones. Loodercroot unveils the Monstas – “Arg what a mess! I name thee ‘Build’.”
Build: “Bleep. I’m only 13. I don't like fighting.” Suddenly we blip to another place, to a beach at night the oldest night before the dawn and wander through the tides of brine and feel the sand clutching at the amber light, drowning in the flood. Pale beneath the silver sky, a whisper in the fog, black ops and snowdirt. The easiest of times, the creepers that hang in decline, the words that are difficult to find when praising savage crimes. Pemmican sun scorch. I’ve got a sickness, with depravity enthralled. Looking for the messages in the lines that I have scrawled. Excuse the fool. The alarming array of fives. The wheels on the bus (go round*) Six times tentimes nine, six fifty seventy the unlisted virgin trinity. Swearing in semaphore it's June in a sunny thirties living room.



M.C. Mc. Ultra. YeeHarr. Yo Jim I have ways wanna a game of arras? Buzbi head. Wooli Kufs. Skini Bod E. Turtle Bootz. Is that hair or moss?
Ya fat pudden. O kee dokee daddy O like dish the folding stuff pronto or I'll like M.T. this baby in ya kinninear. Johnquill don’t dig “You have made me very ahnngree!” He tears his teeth out with one swift flick of the Nunchux. This spreads unease throughout the other pedestrians. Boffo Yoks he cries. I just loves that chainsaw boogie (oogie oogie all night long) Or you’ll go –T.
Linger on... your pale blue eyes......
Tax:Nish. In This Issue: Uri Gellers Golden Handbag. The Electric World of Yeast. Gary Newbonds Atomic Lovetractor Express. Knob Rot. Indigo Tanktop. Piss It Away On Gin. The Roly Polys: “We are fat cunts. We eat cake and pie.” The Man From Del Monte He Say "Fuck You Eeengleeesh."
Why I Married A Bag of Spanners.
DOYLE
He’s back and he’s pissed.
Not suitable for childrens so come on kids tuck in!

This publication contains subtitles for the blind and classified adz.......
Ronson the Plumbers: for a good servicing on all your pipes. Martin slupped the treacly beer and browsed through the T.V. guide.
T.V.Time: Your Complete Telly Box Listings:
9.00 a.m. a room full of people shouting at each other.
9.30 a.m. ho’s n’ bitches.
10.00 a.m. so fuck off down to the chippy.
12.30 p.m. their misery is our entertainment.
2.45 p.m. public executions.
5.00 p.m. stupid traditional folk dancing and some crappy story about Sir Francis Drake or the French revolution with cruddy drawings. Plus a look back at Rosy the Blue Peter whore.
6.00 p.m. ugly people get pilloried; young good looking people get money.
7.00 p.m. Michael wheels on some more mentally ill people for us to laugh at.
8.00 p.m. Game show. Dare you step into the lift of doom?
9.00 p.m. ‘what are these fucking nutters doing on our streets?’
10.00 p.m. dowdy stars dull enough to warrant dreams of a possible shag occurrence.
Dr. Edweena Eerie She’s in league with SATAN!
The next few weeks could be eventful when Pluto moves into the house of Libra and invites all his mates round. Neptune finds Mars in Virgo and they have a fight while Saturn eats all the food and Jupiter makes a mess in the living room. Don’t delay fone today.
Sprayonshoes.
Three way Jazz Fandango.................
.................and all the while Arturo was simplistic



Like a picture of JeckleBUT WITH A FACE ON IT
Like having a Wok
BUT WITH A FACE ON IT
Like being Palooka
BUT WITH A FACE ON IT
Like knowing Geese
BUT WITH A FACE ON IT
Like too much Gravy
BUT WITH A FACE ON IT
Like emigrating to Chad
BUT WITH A FACE ON IT
Mass Graves



I’ve got a Helmet Head. Unbridled and egg bound, caught up in the caterpillar, living next door to corpses. Ok Doktor Hesslich tell me of the cure, understated warm brown stain pissing on the poor, don’t sit shitting trying harder than before. How now fat cow? Special sauce! Love sauce! Hot sauce! Secret sauce! Pulsing through the engorged tracts. Glowing preposterous.
Oh No, But Then, Oh Yes.
Sitting unique, unanswered and miserable, depending on transmitters the government has implanted in his face. Picking up the unsavory rumblings, to clamp down on subversive salutations and endless offers of hand relief. Pretend I’m someone else and describe me in sentences of one word or less. Herr El Telengo looks ravishing tonight. Slap it! Slap it till it glows! Slap it good!
Come on come on I’ve got that kind of thirst. Faster faster. Ramone Hesp delves into the smallest places. Driving nails in with alarming regularity. The hum was low and distant, broken only by the whispers. The click and the tap. The distant cry of gulls, broken only by the face of memory.
Everything has stopped
Augustine surrendered
And dark September took the seat
The wind brought forth tears that made a lie of the way I felt.
Pondering the dusk.

Torchworm: Skreeeeeeeeeee Rasp Deflate. A skeebop a doo wop Eee I’ll pull ya legs off.
Skabby dog. Show us yer flaps! You can all come round to my house as long as there's none of you. I said god damn.
Coming up next `tweek; Gerald Sindstats Jodrell Shocker and the Mustard Acoustic Jangle Chowder. Do the clam do the clam take your barefaced baby by the hand. Blimey, they're after me. Hmmm Vapo rub on the chest or back or how about
straight up the arsehole for that extra special spicy butfuk. Madweed Rollercoaster. The broken dog leg followed us around (Aroun, aroun, aroun town) are you proud of what you found? Cold water runs dry and the greater half passes you by. Gabba skank in tepid dengue fever, Honved Bräu, if Keegan be alive, hallowed be Atari.
Wheezing on a bine. Puffin on his Lardy Darr and chucking Vespers on the fire. Caution! Spunky wet floors, he hung in the area like a UFO. Was it good? Good? It was the dogs tits. Christmas is for life and not just for dogs. So vot makes you zink I'm a spy?(secret eye). Tosh from Bill is Charlie Caroli? “We should treat this problem like a jigsaw puzzle.”
“ What, start with the sky?”
Wig sinister. Havana sunbeds only for the blind. Zoinks aloft. Banjo Funki. Bongo Mopeds. A blue rose on the lattice gate. On day one say nothing but the word JAFFA. All day say nothing but JAFFA. All words spoken will be JAFFA and JAFFA will be the only word said. The answers to all questions will be JAFFA. JAFFA is the only word to be spoken. Loodercroot's monsters formed into one: “We are hideous we are out of control, let’s take over the world.”

They plagued the land with their leeching ways. Dix is blox and helm. Leech is leech can I be your friend? Dorx Is Dix the final Blox. Possessing the power of Mol, Blox and Helm. Dix meets Johnquill: “Halt I am Dix. I have Mol.”